A BRIEF TIMELINE OF PHOENIX WRIGHT'S LIFE

• Age 20: Caught a bad cold, girlfriend tried to murder him, then framed him for a murder that he witnessed.
• Age 24: Witnessed a second murder, this time of his boss and mentor, got beat up, framed for murder for a second time, was nearly erased by the mob, and was electrocuted with a taser.
• Age 25: Witnessed a third murder, had his assistant and friend framed for said murder, was whipped several dozen times, was hit over the head with a fire extinguisher, was attacked twice by both a circus tiger and a circus monkey, got his face pecked by a mockingbird, had to listen to his assistant beg for food after she was kidnapped and starved by an assassin, and was forced to defend somebody who he knew was guilty.
• Age 26: Had someone steal his identity, got beat up again, was nearly erased by the mob again, had two cups of coffee thrown in his face, had birdseed chucked at him, was whipped several more times, witnessed a fourth murder, was led to believe his assistant was dead or dying, fell off a bridge and into a river in the middle of winter, causing him to catch pneumonia, was framed for forging evidence, lost his attorney's badge, and (while still being unemployed after losing his badge) was forced to raise an eight year old girl because her father bailed on her.
• Age 33: Witnessed a fifth murder, framed for murder for the third time, got beat up for a third time, and was hit with a car which sent him smashing into a lightpost, twisting his ankle.